Separation with toddler and baby

Hello,

I need some help please as I don’t understand the Dutch system well. 

I’ve been married for nearly 5 years and always had issues with my him. Two years into it I realised he had some neurological problems so I begged him to see the doctor.  He was referred and diagnosed with ADHD.  I also think he’s autistic. 
non of the above is a problem if only he would take responsibility for his mental health. 
It’s at a point now that I’ve asked social workers for help as he’s becoming controlling and not accepting that I want to work and be financially independent. He and his parents just gaslight me non stop and now I’ve put my foot down because this situation is not healthy for me my toddler and unborn child. 
My question is when I separate, how much time will my children stay with me?  I believe it’s best for children to have healthy   relationship with both parents but as I will be EBF the new born till they’re 9months old how will visitation work? And sleepovers?  He’s someone who isn’t aware of dangers and doesn’t really do any caring atm for the 18month old. 
Still he needs to see his kids. It’s well documented in his medical file that he’s not interested in any help be it therapy or meds and my huisarts constantly tells me that am doing myself more harm than good staying with him. 

What happens in cases like these? Anyone has similar experiences?

thanks in advance